M is for me time!

I am having the BEST weekend so far!
Mum left yesterday afternoon to spend the weekend with some friends. The kids are spending the WHOLE weekend (well until 2.30 on Sunday) with their dad. So it's just me and my dad for the weekend!
I know it must sound awful, but I'm really enjoying having a bit of space and real time to myself! I have done loads of things on the Internet (mainly blogging and pinterest, heehee!), caught up on TV programmes I have recorded and just vegged on the sofa! Last night I had the extra bonus of a lovely long bubble bath before bed. Uninterrupted, as long as I wanted, it was bliss!
I got up at 11 this morning - bad I know! But for once, I didn't wake up feeling guilty that mum had been looking after the kids whilst I had been asleep! I'm on the road to recovery now with this latest depression 'melt-down', but I still feel guilty when I don't do everything I think I should be - especially when it comes to looking after my kids! I am feeling proud though, as I managed to do 3 out of the 4 morning school runs this week! I haven't managed that for ages, and it's made me feel so much better, plus taken pressure off of mum! (a big 'yay me' moment I think, heehee!)
I think that this is the first weekend since husband left me back in November, that I have not had the kids, or the guilt of being away and mum looking after them! I'm loving it!
I even made pancakes for our brunch this morning! I decided that me and dad deserved to have a treat, as everyone else is off having fun for the weekend! They were probably the best I've made to date, as I managed to cook them all without burning any, heehee! They were just yummy!
Here's hoping you're having a good weekend too!

N is for Nephew!

Well, I thought it had been a while since I did one of my A-Z blog prompts and this seemed a perfect subject after the lovely afternoon I spent at my brother's this afternoon!
On the 13th April, my little nephew finally made his appearance! (He was late!)
He weighed 9lbs 7oz at birth!! My poor sister-in-law ended up having a c-section as he wouldn't come out!
He is absolutely perfect and today mum, dad and I finally got to go over and have our first cuddles!
He is just soooo teeny tiny! With his cute button nose and little legs that are still bendy like a frogs! Beautiful blue eyes and a right little wriggler when my dad was having cuddles! He was a perfect angel for mum! For me, the two times I held him, he cried! Woops! It did make me feel better when my sister-in-law (SIL) reminded me that Little Miss did the same to her when she had first cuddles last year! Must be pay-back time, heehee!
What did surprise me, is that SIL is already to have the next one!! I think it took me years before I could even contemplate that idea, but fair play to her! My brother did once say that he wanted to have 6 kids, which I shared with SIL today! Not sure that they'll have that many though, judging from her look when I told her that, heehee ;-)
It's also been lovely to hand down loads of bits that Little Miss doesn't need anymore! I never sold anything from when Little Man was a baby, everything was either kept for Little Miss, or been given and shared amongst my friends! It's even nicer to share with my big bro! I've got a list of more things I've asked if they wanted, to take when we visit in a couple of weeks with Little Man and Little Miss!
Sooo happy for them! Just had to share :-D

My Get Up and Go, Has Got Up and Went!

This is how I feel!

I want to do soooo many things at the moment, but I have no energy, no enthusiasm, no willpower, no... nothing! I feel frustrated and useless, once again!

This line always springs to mind when I feel like this is 'My Get Up and Go Has Got Up and Went'

My grandparents had this poem on the wall in the toilet room of their house. I used to read it over and over, trying to decide which stage I was at! 

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, here's the poem:

How do I know my youth has been spent 

Well my get up and go has got up and went.

But in spite of it all I’m able to grin,

When I think of the places my get up has been.

Old age is golden, so I’ve heard it said

But sometimes I wonder, as I get into bed.

With my ears in a drawer, and my teeth in a cup

And my eyes on the table until I get up.

Ere sleep dims my eyes, I say to my self

“Is there any thing else I should lay on the shelf”?

But I am happy to say as I close my door,

My friends are the same, only more even more.

When I was young, my slippers were red

I could kick up my heels over my head

When I grew older my slippers were blue

But still I could dance, the whole night thru.

Now I am old, my slippers are black

I walk to the store, and puff my way back.

The reason I know my youth is all spent

My get up and go has got up and went.

But I really don’t mind, as I reminisce

My get up and go gave me such wonderful bliss.

Since I am retired from life’s competition.

I busy myself with complete repetition.

I get up in the morning, dust off my wits

Pick up my paper, and read the obits.

If my name is missing I know I’m not dead

So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.

(this is a copy I found via Google, that is as close to the version I remember so well!)

I think a lot of the time, I've always felt that my slippers were black, but I would love them to be blue!! ;-)

I think just finding this poem and reading it all again has already made me start to feel a little better! It always did make me smile!

Hopefully this 'fug' will pass and I'll be back on my way again!

Listpgraphy: Top 5 Photos of 2013

Another listography from the lovely Kate at Kate Takes 5, my top 5 photos from 2013.
I love taking photos of everything that goes on in my life! Sometimes I think I take a few too many, but that's another story ;-)

1) Ok, so technically I didn't take this one, but in January my life was completed by the arrival of my Little Miss! This is my favourite family photo we ever had taken! So sad to think that we won't be having anymore like this :-(

2) I am soooo lucky to live near some beautiful lakes at out Nature Discovery Centre. I love taking the kids there to play in the adventure parks, have a lovely walk and feed the ducks and swans. This is one of my 'trying to be arty' photos - I just love it! Swans are just so graceful and the picture acts as a reminder of fun times at the lakes - jumping in the puddles, teaching Little Man how to play 'Pooh Sticks' and just enjoying a beautiful place :-)

3) My yummy kids! This has to be the best photo I've ever managed to take of my kids! It was not planned, just in the spur of the moment, as the kids messed around on the play mat!

 

4) It may be a little fuzzy, but catching my Little Miss actually smiling is a rare treat!

5) I just love the expression of Little Man here - makes me chuckle every time I look at it :-)

So, what was your 2013 like?

Blog Your Heart Out meme

The lovely Jennifer over at Jennifer's Little World has shared a little meme, Blog Your Heart Out, a way to share information about yourself and your bog, so I thought I would join in the fun!

Who/What encouraged you to start blogging?
I don't have the best of memories, but I think I got into blogging from reading lots of blogs on Netmums Parent Bloggers Network. I have been a member of Netmums for ages and this was something that caught my eye one day. I had been looking for a way to help my depression, which was really bad at the time, someone had suggested writing my thoughts down, or blogging, but I had been to nervous to start, as I thought it would be really difficult! (I'm not the most tech savvy person!) Having read loads posts and getting lots of support I took the leap and gave it a go! I think Kate Takes 5 was the first blog I ever followed.

How did you choose what topics to blog about?
Whatever I feel like at the time. I chose the name of my blog so that it could write about anything and everything in my crazy little world! I also included 'mental' as a reference to my depression, but also to give people an understanding that I'm a total fruit loop and proud to be ;-)
I started writing to get the thoughts that continually whizzed around my head , out and 'on paper' (a tip I learnt from my therapists was to write things down) I have never been good at keeping a 'paper' journal, so blogging seemed a much better idea, a new way to clear my thoughts and keep a record of things that have been going on in my life. I know I'm not that great at it (and can neglect my poor little blog for months!) but I do this for me, not to gain anything like recognition or followers (though if you're reading this, and are one of my few followers - thank you for sticking with me!!!) I also made a conscious decision not to share my blog with any friends or family - not so that I could write horrible things behind their backs, but so I could be totally honest about tough things like my depression, without making them upset.
I now blog mostly about my kids, my day zero project, and a few memes I join in for fun (listography at Kate Takes 5 mainly is my favourite!)

What is something most people don't know about you?
Hmmm... not sure about this one either, as I am quite open and honest about myself, especially on here! Oh, how about, I have really cool eyes that change colour quite dramatically :-) Apparently everyones eyes change colour, but most of the time you don't really notice it. My eyes change from bright blue, to bluey-green, to bluey-grey depending on my mood and what I'm wearing! Most of the time I have bluey-green eyes, when I'm extremely happy I have bright blue eyes and if I'm grumpy they are blue-grey! Thankfully, my eyes are rarely blue-grey! Also they can coordinate with what I'm wearing!! This always made those lessons at school when you do surveys on eye colour a little tricky - I used to have to ask a friend what colour they were at the time, heehee! I do love being different :-)

What three words describe your style?
Ummm... I have no idea! Probably rambling, random and real-life?? (ooh three 'r's - small things, heehee!)

What do you love to do when you're not blogging?
Ooooh sooo many things! I love watching films (mostly Disney with my kids!), going to feed the ducks at the local lakes, spending time with family and friends, reading other blogs, pinning things on Pinterest (to get around to doing, someday!) following inspiration and small businesses on Facebook, knitting (my new hobby) reading on my own and to my kids, making jewellery and cards (though I haven't done this for a while!) trying to help with environmental issues (new passion of mine!) organising the mess of a house we all live in! I could go on and on (see, told you I ramble, heehee!)

I have no idea how to tag people to join in, but if you feel like having a go, consider yourself tagged!

Paying it forward - random gifts!

Ooooh! Just read a lovely post over at Emmys Mummy about kindness and 'Paying it Forward' and it is such a nice idea, that I'm going to join in the fun!
I've been following the idea of 'paying it forward' and 'random acts of kindness' for a while now.
The lovely surprise an unexpected gesture can give someone, anyone, is just such a simple, joyful concept! Now, I'm not the best at doing this, or thinking about it all the time, but I love the idea of doing what I can, when I can. I love giving my car parking ticket to complete strangers, if I no longer need it and it has a few hours left on it - the look of surprise and happiness on their faces, makes it sooo worthwhile, for such a simple thing!
I would love to do some of the bigger gestures, like pay for someones dinner or groceries, or give a sac of goodies to a homeless person, but funds are very tight still!

Now, this idea that I read over at Emmys Mummy, is that I will buy a small gift for the first 5 people who comment 'I'm in' on this post. (This will be sometime in 2014 and you won't know when, until it arrives!) Then to pay it forward, they have to do the same!
There are 2 ways to do this; either by posting a blog (like I'm doing) or adding it as as a Facebook status.

If you want to join in the fun of spreading a little joy, then please leave me a way to contact you (e-mail, snail mail, Facebook, etc)

Image from Google search